Chase was a healthy 2 yr old boy and our whole family’s life was changed over night. We were told he had cancer. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia we were told was the specific type and that we were lucky. He has the “good cancer.” As if there is a good one!!! The hard part was when they told us that he would be on active treatment, getting chemo, and medicines for 3 1/2 years. That is a long time especially for a 2 yr old. The first 7 months were terrible. Low immune system putting him at risk of infections, and just feeling down right miserable. He was a two year old who learned how to swallow multiple pills a day. He was a two year old that thought it was normal to feel yucky and in pain every day. He has now grown into a three year old who understands a little more of what is going on. He now asks me, “when will my cancer be gone?” I wish I could give him a good answer but it is still so far away. We still have so many chemo treatments. He still has to take medicine everyday for a lot longer. How do you explain that to a three year old. October of 2013!!! That is our magic month. We look forward to that month with great anticipation for more than one reason. I want his cancer to be gone. I want it to NEVER come back. I want him to be normal and play with his friends instead of mom saying he can’t because his “numbers” (immune system) aren’t good enough. I don’t want to reason with him before going into a crowd as to why he has to wear a mask and no one else there has one on. I want to sleep without worry. I don’t want to dread every time I walk to the mail knowing the mailbox is just full of bills and EOB’s from the insurance. I want to enjoy January as the start of a new wonderful year and not the restart of bennefits with the insurance company. I want to STOP complaining. I just want to be done!!! And if I feel that strongly about being done I am sure that Chase has that feeling X 100. But in the mean time we just take one day at a time. We take one treatment at a time. We pile the bills in the corner until I am having a good day and can do them without getting sick to my stomach. This medicine is saving my little boys life. If we didn’t have it we probably would not have him here with us today. That is what gets me through the treatments, pills at home, and side effects of treatment. Everyday is different, somedays I am super positive and others I just complain. So bear with me because tomorrow will be another day!!! I wish so badly I could take his place. I wish that I even knew how he felt. I don’t, but there is one that does. If it weren’t for my savior I know that I would not have made it this far. He knows all. He knows the suffering and pain that Chase is going through. He knows the anxiety and worry that I am going through. He knows me!!! He has not left our side once. He has carried Chase through this and I know he will continue to bless us until this battle is over. We can not grow without trials. This is a big one for our family and we have grown more than I can even explain. I know that once this is over we will be handed another trial to help us continue growing. I just hope we get an easier one for a little break before we get thrown back in the fire again;) Like I said I don’t update much here at all so if you would like to read more about our family you can click on our family blog link on the side bar. Thanks for all your love and support. We could not do this cancer journey on our own. One of the many thing we have learned is that there are many amazingly good people out there. Thanks for all you do for us and our little boy!!!

One year ago this month we heard those words, “your son has Cancer!” It was terrible. I thought there was no way and they must have made a mistake. After having a million different things run though my head I decided we were going to move forward and do whatever it takes to beat this. It helped that we were told he had the “good kind”. But it was still so hard to cope with all that had been thrown at us. After a full year of treatment I can say the worst part was the first month and a half. Chase was thrown into a new world where he had no control. We took almost every part of his life and changed it. That is hard for a two year old that wants to do everything “by myself!” He took steroids that made him so grumpy, actually grumpy is not the best word for it, but I hate to use any others because he couldn’t help the way he acted. I had to force medicine down his throat multiple times a day along with IV antibiotics around the clock. I hated this month because I felt like he honestly “hated” me. Any time he saw me he was sure I was just coming to do something to him again, or give him some sort of nasty medicine. I would have to sit on top of him, holding his arms and legs down. He would SCREAM and flip his arms and legs until he could get out. He was strong and growing by the hour. He gained 30% of his own body weight in three weeks. After hoping that I got even half of the medicine in him he would usually throw it back up so then we would have to do it all again. I cry writing this because he has come so far. It has become his “normal”. He believes that everyone has to do this. He sees me take my daily vitamins and says to me, “mom, you taking your magic medicine?” (we call his pill form of meds magic because he takes a drink and they disappear). He has been a trooper. I have a hard time watching this video because it brings back all those bad memories, but with all the bad there was so much good. So much we have to be thankful for. One of our greatest blessings is that he is here with us. He is alive and fighting. We can still hear his little voice. We can still take him on a family vacation. We can still tuck him in bed every night. We can still kiss him and tell him how much we love him. HE IS OUR LITTLE BOY and we will never forget what a fight he has been through to be here with us.

In ONE WEEK we will be headed to Salt Lake to walk in our CureSearch walk. We will be there CELEBRATING Chase’s life and this huge milestone in his treatment. We will not only be celebrating his life, but the life of all children who are fighting, will fight, and have already fought. Some have won the battle, and others have lost, but they are all hero’s in my eyes. They are all tougher that I could ever imagine myself to be if I were in their shoes. The sad part is that there is just not enough research done for Childhood Cancer. They have drugs to help kill the cancer and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t we all know the result, but when it does that doesn’t mean it is the end of that child’s fight. While we were up at Camp Hobe I met so many amazing mothers. I can not even imagine what they have gone through. One of which that I will always look up to had THREE, yes THREE children with a very rare and aggressive brain tumor. They have a 7% chance of survival. She lost one to the cancer, the other lived with no side effects so far, but her oldest of the three has brain damage, and hearing aids because of the radiation and treatment to kill the cancer. He will have to live with these effects the rest of his life although the cancer is gone.
Another child can not walk. He is in a wheelchair and also can not eat like we do. He can not swallow because his muscles have been effected by all he has gone through. He will hopefully one day be able to walk again, but it will be a lot of work and therapy. His cancer is gone, but he will forever live with the effects of the treatment.
We have come a long way from what we used to know about cancer. Yes, these kids can stay alive now, but at what cost??? We need to continue research so that they can live a GOOD and HEALTHY life.

We would love anyone to come celebrate Chase’s life with us on July 9th at Liberty Park. You can join our team or even just make a donation to our team. We appreciate all those who have donated and signed up to walk with us. We are so excited to do this for all the kids waiting for a CURE! To sign up, donate, or for more information go to www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/teamchase

Our Cure Search walk is quickly approaching.  We are just under half way of the goal we set for our fund raising efforts.  I love this organization!  They do so much for the little kids.  They are one of the very few foundations that give money to the childrens oncology research.  Without them we would not be where we are today, and with your help we can learn even more about childhood cancer and find a way to cure it.  These kids are just tiny.  They deserve to live a full and healthy life.  Even if you can only donate a small amount to our walk we appreciate every penny.  THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!!  Go to our Walk page at www.curesearchwalk.org/saltlakecity/teamchase to make a donation.

Click on the following link to see an amazing video on YouTube….http://youtu.be/AGS4yE5v9rM